Videogames

DLC BEATEN (Review)

Only took a month!!! (In my defense I was gone for like a week and a bit. Japan was lit :p). I beat Promised Consort at like 5 in the morning, cried some happy tears, and then went to sleep. That was yesterday.
Overall, my thoughts have definetely changed a lot, I grew to really love the DLC and the characters, and I'm sorry to say I misjudged a lot of them (SORRY MESMER MY LOVE μ_μ).

I made a boss ranking, and yes I did in fact beat every single boss!! Even the stupid npc ones!! All or nothing!!!!!

Here's my more comprehensive breakdown:

1.Mesmer the Impaler
Oh my god. I was so wrong. They did a really clever job marketing him, by making him seem super evil and just like some psycho, which in game, the image he tries to project as well. In truth, he was being used by his mother and once his use was filled up, he was exiled and erased from history. Bro is rivaling Morgott in terms of tragic lore. Incredible lore and writing aside, his bossfight was also just so incredible. I beat him first try (lol) but that was just because his fight was so well balanced and his attacks were very hard but fun and fair to dodge. Just great overall. I'm not going to lie, I'm still not a fan of the whole gladiator armor thing (I get that they were trying to reference Grunbled from Berserk, but I don't really understand the point of relatively pointless allusions personally ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌), but I lovee his second phase design. The cutscene where he pulls out his eye to reveal the snake was just unbelievably cool, and he also looks nice with his hair down. Erm anyways congrats on the only boss with an S+ ranking. Sorry about your mom (⌒_⌒;)

2. BAYLE THE DREAD!!!
Another cinematic dragon fight?? Hell yeah. Design, lore, leadup, arena, all bangers. Igon definetely added to the vibe, he was fun. Once I stopped getting oneshot as soon as I entered the arena, he went down pretty fast (thx dragonslayer katana). Just solid all around.

3. Romina, Saint of the Bud
Finally more scarlet rot lore. I don't really understand who she was before she became a saint though, (and also why she makes everthing pink?), but I was just very happy to see one of my favorite concepts in the game expanded on. Design was obviously so gorgeous, I lovee monster girls always and forever, and the fight was also quite fair. They really fumbled by not giving her a cutscene, especially since she's one of the very few required bosses. So sorry girl.

4.Leda's gang fight
In terms of lore, this fight was really cool, and the leadup was fun. Except that I accidentally killed Moore apparently?? I went to go find him by the church infront of shadow keep and I just found his armor and bell bearing... idek. I didn't really miss out on much. Ansbach is a g and I love him, Freyja is a respectable warrior, Dane is a funny guy, Thiollier was surprisingly useful, and Leda is schizophrenic. Great fight.

5. Pontiff Sulyvahn I mean Rellana
Another fumble, why the fuck does she not have a cutscene... anyways, I feel like her fight and design were all really good, but I would like some more context for her character and Castle Ensis. Her fight was great though, difficult but fun once I found out how to dodge her nuke.

6. Scadutree Avatar
That shit did nott need three phases LOL. Pretty easy since I was using black flame spells at the time, but I was genuinely tweaking out becuase of some of the AOEs and how mobile it was. Cool arena and cool design though. Don't really get why it was a sunflower, but whatever.

7. Midra, Lord of the Frenzied Flame
I loved the Abyssal Woods, and Midra felt like a good ending to the area. I wish we had gotten more lore on Nanaya and why Midra inherited the frenzied flame, and I really want to know what exactly his plan was? Like was he planning to burn down the Scadutree?? Again though, great design.

8. Dancing Lion
This boss definetly set the tone for the DLC LOL, I think it was most people's first boss, and it defintely wiped me at first. That being said, I was a bit disapointed, only because I assumed that the lions would have some relevance to Godwyn from the deathblight one shown in the trailers, but oh well. I remember everyone online laughing together when they found out it was two omens in a lion costume and not an actual lion which was fun.

9. Metyr, Mother of Fingers
Really interesting arena, but I kind of dislike the design. It just didn't really scream "Maternal Figure" to me, but maybe that was the point. Her fight was a bit annoying, just because of the laser AOEs (I'm noticing a pattern of annoying AOEs, hmmm) but I liked her questline enough that I didn't mind too much. RIP Ymir, Yuri, Jolan, and Anna.

10. Putrescent Knight
One of my favorite arenas in one of my favorite areas, but I just didn't really care for the boss very much. I'm running a faith build, so it was pretty easy, but I just didn't love the design very much. Mid lore too. Not bad, but it just doesn't stand out for me.

11. Death Knight
UGHHHHHHHHHH this was the only fucking Godwyn related boss and while yeah, they're cool, they're just a bit boring? The design is awesome, don't get me wrong, but the lore, fight, and mini-dungeon is just very lackluster. I don't know, I don't have much to say (Because there isn't much to talk about :p)

12. Golden Hippo
Idk he was just annoying but easy. His grab attack was bullshit. He's ugly. Where the fuck are they getting hippos from anyways.

13. ...
Deep Sigh. I hate this boss. The fight wasn't even that horrible, the first phase was fine, but the second phase was just a janky ass eyesore. It was a lot like Radabeast, actually. So, the fight itself was so-so, (and definetly not as hard as people are making it out to be, Radahn is not as hard as Malenia by a long shot), but I just absolutely hated the lore and design of this boss. I can't really explain why I dislike Miquella when I love Marika, but I guess I just wasn't into the whole Incest thing in the end. Sorry. I was really hoping that Godwyn and Miquella would make a reappearance, maybe with Miquella trying to put someone else's soul into Godwyn's body and it backfiring, or maybe even using Mohg's body as a vessel for his own soul, or even just Miquella's own warped mutated body. My point is, there are so many interesting directions they could have gone that tie up lore dead-ends that don't involve Radahn's bum ass. I really tried to like him, but oh my god there's just nothing to like. He literally hasn't spoken a single word!! And he's ugly!!!! I can't do this. Miquella up your game please.

14. Fat Pig Rider Bitch
FUCK YOU GAIUS. I did beat him pre-patch which makes me feel good about myself. I think I took longer to kill him the Consort Radahn... I don't even know why I struggled with him for so long, but I just don't have a single thing about his boss that I like. He didn't even have an original theme. And the boar he rides is ugly!!!!!!!

I'm going to go play Dark Souls 3 now.

DLC Update (SPOILERS)

The Elden Ring DLC shot me point-blank executioner style in the forehead.

Ok, for real though I am completely obssessed. To recap the last few days, I started playing as soon as I possibly could (6:00 pm), and I didn't stop until 6:00 am ._. That's so bad omg. Ok LISTEN when you wait for something for 2 years, 12 hours is nothing. I got to Manus Metyr around the time the sun rose (5:40-ish?) and without exxagerating it was genuinely such a vibe. I can't wait to finish Ymir's questline (*￣▽￣)b
I really like the feel of the DLC overall, the areas and enemies remind me a lott of Dark Souls 3, my favorite souls gave ever. The areas, the enemy designs (Rellana, Dancing Lion, Fire Priests, the Omen blade dancer dudes), and the characters (Frejya(!!!), Moore, Ansbach, and of course Ymir and Jolan), they're super super good. A lot of them are very incredibly similar to DS3 though, especially Pontiff Sullyvan- Whoops, sorry, I meant Rellana. And the naming absolutely sucks haha why do half of the names just feel randomly generated. Like Divine Beast Dancing Lion is straight out of a generator, Commander Gaius is a Julius Ceasear wannabe, Rellana.... I don't want to talk about her, and Blackgaol Knight and Death Knight????? What are we doing guys. I have never met an NPC I wanted to kill more than Leda. If she doesn't turn out to be a third Miquella alter-ego I will genuinely kill myself, I'm that confident.

Overall, I love the exploration, that's always been my favorite part of Elden Ring and what sets it apart from other Souls games, and I'm glad to see that they're leaning back in to the darker (haha) dark souls aesthetics. My main issues are with the gameplay and how muddled the lore and story seems: Enemy difficulty is mainly just caused by "let's give this guy 50k hp, microscopic hitboxes, never give any openings, and also he has 3 instakills". I laughed so hard the first time Rellana used the twin moons. Atleast the memes are funny. I really like the NPCs and their storyline so far, I HATE Leda, and I am so fucking bored of Messmer already because who gives a fuck. But overall, I am still optimistic that future games and installments will be even better, I really like the design direction.

I've been trying my utmost to stay off of the internet to avoid spoilers, but of course, I already had the final boss spoiled for me. I hate the idea so much. Like you literally would not believe how much I loathe the idea of actually having to take that fight seriously. A Lorian and Lothric reskin with the randomest fanservice character? If anything, it makes Malenia's lore more tragic since she's fighting for her WHORE brother who decided to side with the guy that accelerated her terminal disease by being a dick to his mom. Radahn, I hate you, and I will kill you.
K Bye!

DLC Expectations

The DLC opens for download in 3 hours(!!!) and I'm just a little bit excited. Since I'm anticipating for the download to take like 2 or 3 hours and fofr the game to crash in that time since servers are defff going to be overloaded, I will probably have to pull an all-nighter to actually get to play for a long enough time. Reviwers have said that the playtime should be around 30 hours, which for me, probably means like 60 hours, if I'm being real.

As for what I'm hoping for from the DLC, I'm pretty hyped for the new weapons, armor, and customization, but I'm way more excited for the new areas and lore of course. In my regular NG+ playthrough I've been brinding at Millicent's questline becuase I'm really really hoping that something in Malenia's questline changes in response to all of the new Miquella lore:') It almost certainly won't, but if they're including prime Radahn in the DLC (wtf by the way?) it's possible. I don't care about Radahn at all. I do like his boss fight, but his character and his motivations are lame. I feel like he should have just stayed a cool one off fight. Maybe they'll do something cool with it though, we'll see. I'm really looking forward to all of the Godwyn stuff, I always thought his story was so sad and he was not used much in the base game. Also he was definetely hot in his prime.

Another thing that I am beyond hyped for is Marika's origin story. I'm so fucking sick of her just being some bimbo on the internet, and from what the DLC trailers have shown, she did some evil evil shit. I sincerely hope that they make her completely irredeemable, evil, monstrously powerful person ever. Regardless of what happens, I will be the #1 Marika fan ever.

Here are some. Uh. Related pictures from this week.

This was from right after I bought the DLC. I went to the atm today and deposited my cash! But uh yeah it was bad. I also bought the deluxe edition so I better get some cool shit(`ー´)

Too real

Also went shopping for dinner today. Yum (´ ε ` )

Elden Ring Album

So, the dlc drops tommorrow (as of when I'm writing this, 26 hours), and while grinding in ng+ is super super thrilling, I have a shitton of screenshots from my first (full) playthrough. I originally had them in a thread on my twitter, but I don't use it anymore. I reuploaded them all here instead, and they're pretty fun to look at and reminiscence. Most of them are just random screenshots, but some of them are actually pretty. Open the image in another tab for better resolution (￣▽￣*)ゞ Anyways, tadaaa:

Oh, also spoiler warning.

(OG Twitter Caption : when I die do this to me pls)

(OG Twitter Caption : realest guy in the whole game)

(OG Twitter Caption : stopp i'm blushing(〃▽〃))

(OG Twitter Caption : we have such a loving relationship)

(OG Twitter Caption : I didn't take a picture but i think the grafted scions are some of the best-designed enemies in the game, i really love them)

these fucking ragdolls man

(OG Twitter Caption : sweetheart)

I like how mysterious (silly) the exile armor makes you look. Is this guy smiling? Frowning? We'll never know╮(￣ω￣;)╭

(OG Twitter Caption : It's never explained how he repairs it
...)

she's fine now :)

(OG Twitter Caption : {for the top 3 pictures} beach day)

(OG Twitter Caption : matching with my wife)

This looks like a fucking crimescene photo, taken with flash and everything

lazy ass bird

she's posing over my CORPSE

(OG Twitter Caption : does he ever shut up)
What's crazy is that he says this after killing your maiden... like imagine you're in a drive by and the perp kills whoever you're with and then makes fun of you for walking alone. Fuck this dude

little guys...

thx man

(OG Twitter Caption : All they know is cry, throw up, and have bad posture)

(OG Twitter Caption : Freaks. I love them.)

(OG Twitter Caption : 1 of my favorite designs... I love him so much)

(OG Twitter Caption : feet)

(OG Twitter Caption : I wonder if the little symbol at the bottom is supposed to represent a uterus (since in canon people are born from trees...))

(OG Twitter Caption : Finally in dark souls constantinople)

(OG Twitter Caption : my daughter... she is sick...
I summoned her for the boss fight and she turned towards the village and ran all the way down the slope killing the village women. She was so eager; It was a bit scary.

It's ok, I still love her)